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ACT. I.

SCENE 1.—Before LEONATO's House.

Enter LEONATO, HERO, BEATRICE, and Others, with a MESSENGER.

Leon. I learn in this letter, that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina.

Mess. He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I left him.

Leon. How many gentlemen have you lost in this action.

Beat. You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencher-man, he hath an excellent stomach.

Mess. And a good soldier too, lady.

Beat. And a good soldier to a lady;-but what is he to a lord?

Mess. A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuff'd with all honourable virtues.

Beat. It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuff'd man: but for the stuffing,-well, we are all mortal.

Leon. You must not, Sir, mistake my niece: there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Benedick and her; they never meet, but there is a skirmish of wit between them.

Mess. But few of any sort, and none of name. Leon. A victory is twice itself, when the atchiever brings home full numbers. I find here, that Don Beat. Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last Pedro hath bestow'd much honour on a young Flo- conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and rentine, called Claudio. now is the whole man govern'd with one: so that Mess. Much deserved on his part, and equally re-if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him member'd by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself bear it for a difference between himself and his beyond the promise of his age: doing, in the figure horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath, indeed, bet-be known a reasonable creature.-Who is his comter better'd expectation, than you must expect of me panion now? He hath every month a new sworn to tell you how.

Leon. He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it.

Mess. I have already deliver'd him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much, that joy could not shew itself modest enough, without a badge of bitterness.

Leon. Did he break out into tears?
Mess. In great measure t.

Leon. A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so wash'd. How much better is it to weep at joy, than to joy at weeping?

Beat. I pray you, is signior Montanto return'd from the wars, or no?

Mess I know none of that name, lady; there was none such in the army of any sort.

Leon. What is he that you ask for, niece? Hero. My cousin means signior Benedick, of Padua.

Mess. O, he is return'd, and as pleasant as ever he was.

Beat. He set up his bills here in Messina, and challenged Cupid at the flight f: and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt.-I pray you, how many hath he kill'd and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he kill'd? for, indeed, I promised to eat all of his killing.

Leon. Faith, niece, you tax signior_Benedick too much; but he'll be meets with you, I doubt it not. Mess. He hath done good service, lady, in these

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brother.

Mess. Is it possible?

Beat. Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat, it ever changes with the next block t.

Mess. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your

books.

Beat. No: an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray yon, who is his companion? Is there no young squarert now, that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

Beat. O Lord! he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured.

Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady.
Beat. Do, good friend.

Leon. You will never run mad, niece.
Beat. No, not till a hot January.
Mess. Don Pedro is approach'd.

Enter Don PEDRO, attended by BALTHAZAR and others; Don JOHN, CLAUDIO, and BENEDICK.

D. Pedro. Good signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.

Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, com fort should remain; but, when you depart from me sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave.

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D. Pedro. You embrace your charge too wil-ber. But I hope, you have no intent to turn huslingly. I think, this is your daughter. baud; have you?

Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. Bene. Were you in doubt, Sir, that you ask’d her?

Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you

a child.

D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself:-Be happy, lady! for you are like an honourable father.

Bene. If signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders, for all Messina, as like him as she is.

Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife.

Bene. Is it come to this, i' faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a batchelor of threescore again? Go to i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you.

Re-enter DON PEDRO.

D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that

Beat. I wonder, that you will still be talking, sig-you follow'd not to Leonato's? nior Benedick; nobody marks you.

Bene. What, my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living?

Beat. Is it possible, disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it, as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence.

Bene. Then is courtesy a turn-coat :-But it is certain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for truly, I love none.

Beat. A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.

Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind! So some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratch'd face.

Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, and 'twere such a face as yours were.

Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beat. A bird of my tongue, is better than a beast of yours.

Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a continuer: but keep your way o' God's name; I have done.

Beat. You always end with a jade's trick; I know

you of old.

Bene. I would, your grace would constrain me to tell.

D. Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,-mark you this, on my allegiance. -He is in love. With who?-Now that is your grace's part.-Mark, how short his answer is:With Hero, Leonato's short daughter.

Claud. If this were so, so were it utter'd.

Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but indeed, God forbid it should be so.

Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God for. bid it should be otherwise.

D. Pedro. Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy.

Claud. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord D. Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought. Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. Bene. And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord I spoke mine.

Claud. That I love her, I feel.

D. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know.

Bene. That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake.

D. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty.

Claud. And never could maintain his part, but in the force of his will.

D. Pedro. This is the sum of all: Leonato,-signior Claudio, and signior Benedick,-my dear friend Leonato, hath invited you all. I tell him, we shall stay here at the least a month: and he heartily Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her' prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare that she brought me up, I likewise give her most swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat⚫ Leon. If you swear my lord, you shall not be for-winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle + in an in sworn.-Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being visible baldrick, all women shall pardon me: bereconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all cause I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, (for the which I may go the finer,) I will live a bachelor.

duty.

D. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you.

ther.

Leon. Please it your grace lead on? D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato; we will go toge[Exeunt all but Benedick and Claudio. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato?

Bene. I noted her not: but I looked on her. Claud. Is she not a modest young lady? Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment? Or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a profess'd tyrant to their sex.

Claud. No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. Bene. Why, i faith, methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her: that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome: and being no other but as she is, I do not like her.

1

Claud. Thou thinkest, I am in sport: I pray thee, tell me truly how thou likest her.

Bene. Would you buy her, that you enquire after her?

Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel?

Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? Or do you play the flouting Jack; to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song?

Claud. In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I look'd on.

Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter; there's her cousin, an she were not possess'd with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of Decem

• Trust.

D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house, for the sign of blind Cupid.

D Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument.

Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder, and called Adam §.

D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try:
In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.

Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the seusible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, Here is good horse to hire, let them signify under my sign,-Here you may see Benedick, the married

man.

Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.

D. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.. Bene. I look for an earthquake too then.

D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's; commend me to him, and tell him, I will not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he hath made great preparation."

• The tune sounded to call off the dogs.
+ Hunting-horn.
Girdle.
The name of a famous archer,

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Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you

Claud. To the tuition of God; from my house, (if) I had it.)

D. Pedro. The sixth of July: your loving friend, Benedick.

Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not: the body of your discourse is sometimes guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience; and so I leave you. [Exit Benedick. Claud. My liege, your highness now may do me good.

D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach; teach it but how,

And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
Any hard lesson that may do thee good.

Cland. Hath Leonato any son, my lord?

D. John. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit. Con. You should hear reason.

D. John. And when I have heard it, what blessing bringeth it?

Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance.

D. John. I wonder, that thou being (as thou say st thou art,) born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man's business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his hu

mour.

Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You

D. Pedro. No child but Hero, she's his only heir: have of late stood out against your brother, and he Dost thou affect her, Claudio?

Claud. O, my lord,

When you went onward on this ended action,
I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
Than to drive liking to the name of love:
But now I am return'd, and that war-thoughts
Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
Saying, I liked her ere I went to wars.

D. Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently,
And tire the hearer with a book of words:
If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it;
And I will break with her, and with her father,
And thou shalt have her; was't not to this end,
That thou began'st, to twist so fine a story?

Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love,
That know love's grief by his complexion!
But best my liking might too sudden seem,
I would have salved it with a longer treatise.
D. Pedro. What need the bridge much broader
than the flood?

The fairest grant is the necessity;
Look, what will serve, is fit: 'tis once, thou lov'st;
And I will fit thee with the remedy.

I know we shall have revelling to-night;
I will assume thy part in some disguise,
And tell fair Hero I am Claudio;

And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart,
And take her hearing prisoner with the force
And strong encounter of my amorous tale:
Then, after, to her father will I break;
And, the conclusion is, she shall be thine:
In practice let us put it presently.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II-A Room in LEONATO's House. Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO. Leon. How now, brother? Where is my cousin, your son? Hath he provided this music?

Ant. He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you yet dream'd not of. Leon. Are they good?

Ant. As the event stamps them; but they have a good cover, they shew well outward. The prince and count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleach'd alley in my orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine: the prince discover'd to Claudio, that he loved my niece your daughter, and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance; and if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, and instantly break with you of it. Leon. Hath the fellow any wit, that told you this? Ant. A good sharp fellow; I will send for him, and question him yourself.

Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream, till it appear itself:-But I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you, and tell her of it.-Several persons cross the stage.]Cousins, you know what you have to do.-0, I cry your mercy, friend; you go with me, and I will use your skill:-Good cousins, have a care this busy time. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.—Another Room in LEONATO's House. Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE

hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root, but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.

D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdain'd of all, than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied that I am a plain dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage: If I had my mouth, I would bite: if I had my li berty I would do my liking in the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.

Con. Can you make no use of your discontent D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? What news, Borachio?

Enter BORACHIO.

Bora. I came yonder from a great supper; the prince, your brother, is royally entertain'd by Leonato: and I can give you inteliigence of an intended marriage.

D. John. Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool, that betroths himself to unquietness?

Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
D. John. Who? The most exquisite Claudio?
Bora. Even he.

D. John. A proper squire! and who, and who? Which way looks he?

Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

D. John. A very forward March chick! How came you to this?

Bora. Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon, that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtain'd her, give her to count Claudio,

D. John. Come, come, let us thither; this may prove food to my displeasure that young start up hath all the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way: you are both sure, and will assist me?

Con. To the death, my lord.

D. John. Let us to the great supper; their cheer is the greater, that I am subdued: 'would the cook were of my mind !-Shall we go prove what is to be done?

Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Exeunt.

ACT II.

SCENE I.-A Hall in LEONATO's House. Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and Others.

Leon. Was not count John here at supper?
Ant. I saw him not.

Beat, How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him, but I am heart-burn'd an hour after. Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition. Beat. He were an excellent man, that were made just in the mid-way between him and Benedick: the one is too like an image, and says nothing; and

Con. What, the gonjere έ, my lord! Why are you the other, too like my lady's eldest son evermore thus out of measure sad?

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tattling.

Leon. Then half signior Benc..ck's tongue in • Flatter.

+ Dog-rose.

+ Serious.

count John's mouth, and half count John's melancholy in signior Benedick's face,

Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world,—if he could get her good will.

Leon. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. Ant. In faith she is too curst.

Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending that way: for it is said, God sends a curst cow short horns: but to a cow too curst, he sends none.

Leon. So by being too curst, God will send you no horns.

Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening: Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face; I had rather lie in the woollen.

Leon. You may light upon a husband, that hath no beard.

Beat. What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard, is less that a man: and he that is more than a youth, is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear herd, and lead his apes into hell.

Leon. Well then, go you into hell?

Beat. No; but to the gate: and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids: so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shews me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.

Ant. Well niece, [To Hero.] I trust, you will be ruled by your father.

Beat. Yes, faith: it is my cousin's duty to make Courtesy, and say, Father, as it please you-But yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another courtesy, and say, Father, as it please me.

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Marg. God match me with a good dancer!
Balth. Amen.

Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when the dance is done!-Answer, clerk.

Balth. No more words; the clerk is answer'd. Urs. I know you well enough; you are signior Antonio.

Ant. At a word I am not.

Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head. Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit him. Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man: here's his dry hand up and down, you are he, you are he. Ant. At a word, I am not.

Urs. Come, come; do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end.

Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so?
Bene. No, you shall pardon me.

Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are?
Bene. Not now.

Beat. That I was disdainful,-and that I had my good wit out of the Hundred merry Tales ;-Well, this was signior Benedick that said so. Bene. What's he?

Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough.'
Bene. Not I, believe me.

Beat. Did he never make you laugh?
Bene. I pray you, what is he?

Beat. Why he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool: only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: none but libertines delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy; for he both pleaseth men, and angers them, and Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fit-then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure ted with a husband. he is in the fleet; I would he had boarded + me. Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say.

Beat. Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be over-master'd with a piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren and truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.

Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know

your answer.

Beat. The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him, there is measure in every thing, and so dance out the answer. For hear me, Hero; Wooing, wedding and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a measure full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance, and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sink into his

grave.

Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. Beat. I have a good eye, uncle: I can see a church by day-light.

Leon. The revellers are entering; brother make good room.

Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHA ZAR; Don JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA, and others, mask'd.

D. Pedre. Lady, will you walk about with your

friend +?

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Beat. Do, do; he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which peradventure, not mark'd, or not laugh'd at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge' wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night. [Music within.] We must follow the leaders.

Bene. In every good thing. Beat. Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning.

[Dance. Then exeunt all but Don John, Borachio, and Claudio.

D. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath withdrawn her father to break with him

about it: the ladies follow her, and but one visor

remains.

Bora. And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing t.

D. John. Are not you signior Benedick?
Claud. You know me well; I am he.

D. John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love: he is enamour'd on Hero: I pray you, dissuade him from her, she is no equal for his birth: you may do the part of an honest man in it. Claud. How know you he loves her?

D. John. I heard him swear his affection.
Bora. So did I too; and he swore he would marry

her to-night.

D. John. Come, let us to the banquet.
[Exeunt Don John and Borachio.
Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.-
Tis certain so the prince wooes for himself.
Friendship is constant in all other things,

Save in the office and affairs of love:
Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues.
Let every eye negotiate for itself,

And trust no agent: for beauty is a witch,
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood §.
This is an accident of hourly proof,
Which I mistrusted not: farewell therefore, Hero.

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Re-enter BENEDICK.
Bene. Count Claudio?

Claud. Yea, the same.

Bene. Come, will you go with me?
Claud. Whither?

Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own business, count. What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain? Or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero.

Claud. I wish him joy of her.

Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; so they sell bullocks. But did you think, the prince would have served you thus ?

Claud. I pray you, leave me.

Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man ; 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post.

Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Exit. Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep into sedges. But, that my lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The prince's fool!Ha! it may be, I go under that title, because I am merry.-Yea; but so; I am apt to do myself wrong: I am not so reputed: it is the base, the bitter disposition of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and so gives me out. Well, I'll be re venged as I may.

Re-enter DON PEDRO, HERO, and LEONATO. D. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count? Did you see him?

Bene. Troth, my lord, I have play'd the part of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren; I told him, and I think I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offer'd him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipp'd.

D. Pedro. To be whipp'd! What's his fault? Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy; who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, shews it his companion, and he steals it.

D. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer.

Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself; and the rod he might have bestow'd on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his bird's nest.

D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner.

Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly.

D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you; the gentleman, that danced with her, told her she is much wrong'd by you.

Bene. O, she misused me past the endurance of a block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have answer'd her; my very visor began to assume life, and scold with her: she told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester; that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest, with such impossible conveyance, upon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me she speaks poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her, she would infect to the north star. I would not marry her, though she were endow'd with all that Adam had left him before he transgress'd: she would have made Hercules have turn'd spit; yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her; you shall find her the infernal Até† in good apparel. I would to God, some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follow her.

Re-enter CLAUDIO and BEATRICE. D. Pedro. Look, here she comes. Bene. Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes, that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the farthest inch of Asia; bring you the length

• Incredible. + The Goddess of Discord.

of Prester John's foot; fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard; do you any embassage to the Pig mies, rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy: You have no employment for me?

D. Pedro. None, but to desire your good company. Bene. O God, Sir, here's a dish I love not; I cannot endure my lady Tongue. [Exit. D. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of signior Benedick.

Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one marry, once before, he won it of me with fa.se dice, therefore your grace may well say, I have lost it. D. Pedro. You have put him down, ady, you have put him down.

Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek D. Pedro. Why, how now, count? Wherefore are you sad?

Claud. Not sad, my lord.

D. Pedro. How then? Sick?
Claud. Neither, my lord.

Beat. The count is neither sad, nor sick, no merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil as ap orange, and something of that jealous complexion, D. Pedro. I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true; though, I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have woo'd in thy name and fair Hero is won; I have broke with her father, and his good will obtain'd: name the day of mar riage, and God give thee joy!

Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and all grace say Amen to it!

Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cuet.

Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much.Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away myself for you, and dote upon the exchange.

Beat. Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss, and let not him speak, neither. D. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry

heart.

Beat. Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care:-My cousin tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart.

Claud. And so she doth, cousin.

Beat. Good lord, for alliance !-Thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am sun-burn'd; I may sit in a corner, and cry, heigh ho! for a husband. D. Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. Beat. I would rather have one of your father's getting: Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.

D. Pedro. Will you have me, lady?

Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days; your grace is too costly to wear every day-But, I beseech your grace, pardon me; I was born to speak all mirth, and no matter.

D. Pedro. Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.

Beat. No sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that I was born.-Cousins, God give you joy! Leon. Niece, will you look to these things I told you of?

Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.-By your grace's pardon. [Exit Beatrice.

D. Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady. Leon. There's little of the malancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad, but when she sleeps; and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dream'd of un happiness, and waked herself with laughing.

D. Pedro. She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.

Leon. O, by no means; she mocks all her wooers out of suit.

D. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Benedick.

Leon. O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad. D. Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church?

Claud. To-morrow, my lord: Time goes on crutches, till love have all his rites.

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