THE

GUARDIAN.

DRAMATIS PERSONEÆ.

Heartly, the Guardian.

Sir Charles Clackit, his Friend.
Mr. Clackit, Nephew to Sir Charles.
Servant.

Harriet, Heartly's Ward.
Lucy, Servant to Harriet.

ACT I.

SCENE I.

Enter Sir CHARLES CLACKIT, his NEPHEW, and SERVANT.

Serv. PLEASE to walk this way, sir.
Sir Cha. Where is your master, friend?
Serv. In his drefsing-room, sir.

Y. Cla. Let him know then

Sir Cha. Prithee be quiet, Jack; when I am in company, let me direct. "Tis proper and decent. Y. Cla. I am dumb, sir.

Sir Cha. Tell Mr. Heartly, his friend and neighbour Sir Charles Clackit would say three words to him.

[Exit.

Sero. I shall, sir.Sir Cha. Now, nephew, consider once again, before I open the matter to my neighbour Heartly, what I am going to undertake for you.-Why don't you speak?

Y. Cla. Is it proper and decent, uncle?

Sir Cha. Psha! don't be a fool-but answer meDon't you flatter yourself.-What afsurance have you that this young lady, my friend's ward, has a liking to you? The young fellows of this age are all coxcombs, and I am afraid you are no exception to the general rule.

Y. Cla. Thank you, uncle-But may I this instant be struck old and peevish, if I would put you upon a false scent to expose you, for all the fine women in Christendom.I afsure you again and again, and you may take my word, uncle, that Mifs Harriet has no kind of aversion to your nephew and most humble servant.

Sir Cha. Ay, ay-vanity!-vanity!-but I never take a young fellow's word about women; they'll lie as fast, and with as little conscience, as the Brussels Gazette.--Produce your proofs.

Y. Cla. Can't your eyes see 'em, uncle, without urging me to the indelicacy of repeating 'em?

Sir Cha. Why, I see nothing but a fool's head and a fool's coat, supported by a pair of most unpromising legs.-Have you no better proofs ?

Y. Cla. Yes, I have, my good infidel uncle, half a hundred.

Sir Cha. Out with them then.

Y. Cla. First then-Whenever I see her, she never looks at me :-That's a sign of love.-Whenever I speak to her, she never answers me :- Another sign of love. And whenever I speak to any body else, she seems to be perfectly easy :-That's a certain sign of love.

Sir Cha. The devil it is!

Y. Cla. When I am with her she is always grave; and the moment I get up to leave her, then the poor thing begins: Why will you leave me, Mr. Clackit? can't you sacrifice a few moments to my bashfulness?--Stay, you agreeable runaway, stay, I shall soon overcome the fears your presence gives

me.'I could say more-But a man of honour, uncle

Sir Cha. What, and has she said all these things to you?

Y. Cla. O yes, and ten times more with her eyes. Sir Cha. With her eyes?-Eyes are very equivocal, Jack. However, if the young lady has any liking to you, Mr. Heartly is too much a man of the world, and too much my friend, to oppose the match; so do you walk into the garden, and I will open the matter to him.

Y. Cla. Is there any objection to my staying, uncle? The business will be soon ended.-you will propose the match; he will give his consent, I shall give mine; Mifs is sent for, and l'affair est fait. [Snapping his Fingers.

Sir Cha. And so you think that a young beautiful heirefs, with forty thousand pounds, is to be had with a scrap of French, and a snap of your finger? Prithee get away, and don't provoke me.

Y. Cla. Nay, but my dear uncle

Sir Cha. Nay, but my impertinent nephew, either retire, or I'll throw up the game. [Putting him out. Y. Cla. Well, well, I am gone, uncle.-When you come to the point, I shall be ready to make my appearance.-Bon voyage! [Exit.

Sir Cha. The devil's in these young fellows, I think. We send 'em abroad to cure their sheepishness, and they get above proof the other way.→→→→

Enter Mr. HEARTLY. -Good-morrow to you, neighbour.

Hea. And to you, Sir Charles; I am glad to see you so strong and healthy.

Sir Cha. I can return you the compliment, my friend. Without flattery, you don't look more than thirty-five; and, between ourselves, you are on the wrong side of forty-But mum for that.

Hea. Ease and tranquillity keep me as you see. Sir Chu. Why don't you marry, neighbour? A good wife would do well for you.

Hea. For me? You are pleased to be merry, Sir Charles.

Sir Cha. No, faith, I am serious; and had I a

daughter to recommend to you, you should say me 'Nay' more than once, I assure you, neighbour Heartly, before I would quit you.

Hea. I am much obliged to you.

Sir Cha. But indeed you are a little too much of the philosopher to think of being troubled with women and their concerns.

Hea. I beg your pardon, Sir Charles-Though there are many who call themselves philosophers, that live single, and perhaps are in the right of it, yet I cannot think that marriage is at all inconsistent with true philosophy,-"A wise man will re"solve to live like the rest of the world, with this only difference, that he is neither a slave to pas "sions nor events."-It is not because I have a little philosophy, but because I am on the wrong side of forty, Sir Charles, that I desire to be excused.

Sir Cha. As you please, sir:-and now to my businefs. You have no objection, I suppose, to tie up your ward, Mifs Harriet, though you have slipped the collar yourself.-Ha, ha, ha!

Hea. Quite the contrary, sir; I have taken her some time from the boarding school, and brought her home, in order to dispose of her worthily, with her own inclination.

Sir Cha. Her father, I have heard you say, recommended that particular care to you, when she had reached a certain age.

Hea. He did so-and I am the more desirous to obey him scrupulously in this circumstance, as she will be a most valuable acquisition to the person who shall gain her-for not to mention her fortune, which is the least consideration, her sentiments are worthy her birth; she is gentle, modest, and obliging. In a word, my friend, I never saw youth more amiable or discreet-but perhaps I am a little partial to her.

Sir Cha. No, no; she is a delicious creature, every body says so.-But I believe, neighbour, something has happened that you little think of. Hea. What, pray, Sir Charles?

Sir Cha. My nephew, Mr. Heartly

Enter Young CLACKIT.

Y. Cla. Here I am, at your service, sir-my uncle is a little unhappy in his manner; but I'll clear the matter in a moment.-Mifs Harriet, sir,—your ward

Sir Cha. Get away, you puppy!

Y. Cla. Mifs Harriet, sir, your ward-a most accomplished young lady, to be sure

Sir Cha. Thou art a most accomplished coxcomb, to be sure.

Hea. Pray, Sir Charles, let the young gentleman speak.

Y. Cla. You'll excuse me, Mr. Heartly-My uncle does not set up for an orator-little confused, or so, sir-You see me what I am-But I ought to ask pardon for the young lady and myself. We are young, sir-I must confefs we were wrong to conceal it from you-But my uncle, I see, is pleased to be angry; and therefore I shall say no more at present.

Sir Cha. If you don't leave the room this moment, and stay in the garden till I call you

Y. Cla. I am sorry I have displeased you-I did not think it was mal a-propos; but you must have your way, uncle-You command-i submit-Mr. Heartly, yours. [Exit Young Clackit.

Sir Cha. Puppy! [aside.] My nephew's a little unthinking, Mr. Heartly, as you see; and therefore I have been a little cautious how I have proceeded in this affair: but indeed he has in a manner persuaded me, that your ward and he are not ill toge ther.

Hea. Indeed! This is the first notice I have had of it, and I cannot conceive why Mifs Harriet should conceal it from me; for I have often afsured her, that I would never oppose her inclination, though I might endeavour to direct it.

Sir Cha. Tis human nature, neighbour.-We are so ashamed of our first pafsion, that we would willingly hide it from ourselves-But will you mention my nephew to her?.

Hea. I must beg your pardon, Sir Charles,-The name of the gentleman whom she chooses, must Vol. IX.