quehannah river. Felt my spirits sink towards night, so that I had little comfort.


Aug. 19. "Rode forward still; and at night lodged by the side of the Susquehannah. Was weak and disordered both this and the preceding day, and found my spirits considerably damped, meeting with none that I thought godly people. Aug. 20. Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I coughed much bloody matter this morning, and was under great disorder of body, and not a little melancholy; but what gave me some encouragement was, I had a secret hope that I might speedily get a dismission from earth, and all its toils and sorrows. Rode this day to one Chamber's, upon the Susquehannah, and there lodged. Was much afflicted in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drinking, swearing, &c. O what a hell would it be, to be numbered with the ungodly! Enjoyed some agreeable conversation with a traveller, who seemed to have some relish of true religion.

Aug. 21. "Rode up the river about fifteen miles and there lodged, in a family which appeared quite destitute of God. Laboured to discourse with the man about the life of religion, but found him very artful in evading such conversation. 0 what a death it is to some, to hear of the things of God! Was out of my element; but was not so dejected as at some times. Aug. 22. "Continued my course up the river; my people now being with me, who before were parted from me; travelled above all the English settlements; at night lodged in the open woods; and slept with more comfort than while among an ungodly company of white people. Enjoyed some liberty in secret prayer, this evening; and was helped to remember dear friends, as well as my dear flock, and the church of God in general.

Aug. 23. "Arrived at the Indian town, called Shaumoking, near night, was not so dejected as formerly; but yet somewhat exercised. Felt somewhat composed in the evening; enjoyed some freedom in leaving my all with God. Through the great goodness of God, I enjoyed some liberty of mind; and was not distressed with a despondency, as frequently heretofore.

Lord's day, Aug. 24. "Towards noon, visited some of the Delawares, and discoursed with them about christianity. In the afternoon discoursed to the King, and others, upon divine things; who seemed disposed to hear. Spent most of the day in these exercises. In the evening enjoyed some comfort and satisfaction; and especially had some sweetness in secret prayer. This duty was made so agreeable to me, that I loved to walk abroad, and repeatedly engage in it. Oh, how comfortable is a little glimpse of God!



Aug. 25. "Spent most of the day in writing. Sent out my people that were with me, to talk with the Indians, and contract a friendship and familiarity with them, that I might have a better opportunity of treating with them about Christianity. Some good seemed to be done by their visit this day, divers appeared willing to hearken to Christianity. My spirits were a little refreshed this evening; and I found some liberty and satisfaction in prayer. Aug. 26. “About noon, discoursed to a considerable number of Indians. God helped me, I am persuaded; for I was enabled to speak with much plainness, and some warmth and power; and the discourse had impression upon some, and made them appear very serious. I thought things now ap peared as encouraging, as they did at Crossweeks. At the time of my first visit to those Indians, I was a little encouraged; I pressed things with all my might; and called out my people, who were then present, to give in their testimony for God; which they did. Towards night, was refreshed; had a heart to pray for the setting up of God's kingdom here; as well as for my dear congregation below, and my dear friends elsewhere.

Aug. 27. "There having been a thick smoke in the house where I lodged all night before, whereby I was almost choaked, I was this morning distressed with pains in my head and neck, and could have no rest. In the morning, the smoke was still the same; and a cold easterly storm gathering, I could neither live within doors, nor without, a long time together. I was pierced with the rawness of the air abroad, and in the house distressed with the smoke. I was this day very vapoury, and lived in great distress, and had not health enough to do any thing to any purpose.

Aug. 28. "In the afternoon, I was under great concern of mind about my work. Was visited by some who desired to hear me preach; discoursed to them, in the afternoon, with some fervency, and laboured to persuade them to turn to God. Was full of concern for the kingdom of Christ, and found some enlargement of soul in prayer, both in secret and in my family. Scarce ever saw more clearly, than this day, that it is God's work to convert souls, and especially poor Heathens. I knew, I could not touch them; I saw I could only speak to dry bones, but could give them no sense of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help: I could say the work was his ; and if done, the glory would be his.

Aug. 29. "Felt the same concern of mind, as the day before. Enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and a satisfaction to leave all with God. Travelled to the Delawares, found few at home, felt poorly; but was able to spend some time alone in

reading God's word and in prayer, and enjoyed some sweetness in these exercises. In the evening, was assisted repeatedly in prayer, and found some comfort in coming to the throne of grace. Aug. 30. "Spent the forenoon in visiting a trader, who came down the river sick; and who appeared as ignorant as any Indian. In the afternoon spent some time in reading, writing, and prayer.

Lord's day, Aug. 31. Spent much time, in the morning, in secret duties; found a weight upon my spirits, and could not but cry to God with concern and engagement of soul. Spent some time also in reading and expounding God's word to my dear family which was with me, as well as in singing and prayer with them. Afterwards spake the word of God, to some few of the Susquehannah Indians. In the afteroon, felt very weak and feeble. Near night, was somewhat refreshed in mind, with some views of things relating to my great work. O how heavy is my work, when faith cannot take hold of an almighty arm, for the performance of it! Many times have I been ready to sink in this case. Blessed be God that I may repair to a full fountain?

Sept. 1. "Set out on a journey towards a place called The Great Island, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, in the north-western branch of the Susquehannah. Travelled some part of the way, and at night lodged in the woods. Was exceedingly feeble this day, and sweat much the night following. Sept. 2. "Rode forward; but no faster than my people went on foot. Was very weak, on this as well as the preceding days. I was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out in the open air; and some of our company being parted from us, so that we had now no axe with us, I had no way but to climb into a young pine tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, and so made a shelter from the dew. But the evening being cloudy, and very likely for rain, I was still under fears of being extremely exposed: sweat much in the night, so that my linen was almost wringing wet all night. I scarcely ever was more weak and weary, than this evening, when I was able to sit up at all. This was a melancholy situation I was in; but I endeavoured to quiet myself with considerations of the possibility of my being in much worse circumstances, among enemies, &c.

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Sept. 3. "Rode to the Delaware-town; found divers drinking and drunken. Discoursed with some of the Indians about Christianity; observed my Interpreter much engaged and assisted in his work; some few persons seemed to hear with great earnestness and engagement of soul. About noon, rode to a small town of Shauwaunoes, about eight miles distant; spent an hour or two there, and returned to the Delaware-town, and

lodged there. Was scarce ever more confounded with a sense of my own unfruitfulness and unfitness for my work, than now. O what a dead, heartless, barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see myself to be! My spirits were so low, and my bodily strength so wasted, that I could do nothing at all. At length, being much overdone, lay down on a buffalo-skin; but sweat much the whole night.

Sept. 4. "Discoursed with the Indians, in the morning, about Christianity; my Interpreter, afterwards, carrying on the discourse to a considerable length. Some few appeared well disposed, and somewhat affected. Left this place, and returned towards Shaumoking; and at night lodged in the place where I lodged the Monday night before: was in very uncomfortable circumstances in the evening, my people being belated, and not coming to me till past ten at night; so that I had no fire to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm, or keep off wild beasts; and I was scarce ever more weak and worn out in all my life. However, I lay down and slept before my people came up, expecting nothing else but to spend the whole night alone, and without fire.

Sept. 5. "Was exceeding weak, so that I could scarcely ride; it seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse, and lie in the open woods: however, got to Shaumoking, towards night felt somewhat of a spirit of thankfulness, that God had so far returned me: was refreshed to see one of my Christians, whom I left here in my late excursion.



Sept. 6. Spent the day in a very weak state; coughing and spitting blood, and having little appetite for any food I had with me; was able to do very little, except discourse a while of divine things to my own people, and to some few I met with. Had, by this time, very little life or heart to speak for God, through feebleness of body, and flatness of spirits. Was scarcely ever more ashamed and confounded in myself, than I was sensible, that there were numbers of God's people, who knew I was then out upon a design, or at least the pretence, of doing something for Gou, and in his cause, among the poor Indians ; and they were ready to suppose, that I was fervent in spirit; but O the heartless frame of mind that I felt, filled me with confusion! O methought if God's people knew me, as God knows, they would not think so highly of my zeal and resolution for God, as perhaps now they do! I could not but desire they should see how heartless and irresolute I was, that they might be undeceived, and 'not think of me above what they ought to think.' And yet I thought, if they saw the ut 1 most of my flatness and unfaithfulness, the smallness of my courage and resolution for God, they would be ready to shut me out of their doors, as unworthy of the company or friendship of Christians.

Lord's day, Sept. 7. "Was much in the same weak state of body, and afflicted frame of mind, as in the preceding day: my soul was grieved, and mourned that I could do nothing for God. Read and expounded some part of God's word to my own dear family, and spent some time in prayer with them; discoursed also a little to the Pagans; but spent the Sabbath with a little comfort.

Sept. 8. "Spent the forenoon among the Indians; in the afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the river, a few miles. Had proposed to have tarried a considerable time longer among the Indians upon the Susquehannah; but was hindered from pursuing my purpose by the sickness that prevailed there, the weakly circumstances of my own people that were with me, and especially my own extraordinary weakness, having been exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing up of blood, almost the whole of the journey. I was a great part of the time so feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able to reach home; and at the same time very destitute of the comforts, and even the necessaries of life; at least, what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this journey I sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God with some power, and divine truths made some impressions on divers who heard me; so that several, both men and women, old and young, seemed to cleave to us, and be well disposed towards Christianity; but others mocked and shouted, which damped those who before seemed friendly, at least some of them. Yet God, at times, was evidently present, assisting me, my interpreter, and other dear friends who were with me. God gave, sometimes, a good degree of freedom in prayer for the ingathering of souls there; and I could not but entertain a strong hope, that the journey should not be wholly fruitless. Whether the issue of it would be the setting up of Christ's kingdom there, or only the drawing of some few persons down to my congregation in New Jersey; or whether they were now only being prepared for some further attempts, that might be made among them, I did not determine; but I was persuaded, the journey would not be lost. Blessed be God, that I had any encouragement and hope.

Sept. 9. "Rode down the river, near thirty miles. Was extremely weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunder storm. Discoursed with some warmth and closeness to some poor ignorant souls, on the life and power of religion; what were, and what were not the evidences of it. They seemed much astonished, when they saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give thanks, at dinner; concluding that a very high evidence of grace in them; but were astonished, when I insisted, that neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was any sure evidence of grace. O the ignorance of the world! How are some empty

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