As we fay Monfieur to an Ape,
Without offence to human fhape;
So men have got from bird and brute
Names that would beft their natures fuit.
The Lion, Eagle, Fox, and Boar,
Were Heroes titles heretofore,
Beftow'd as hieroglyphics fit
To fhew their valour, ftrength, or wit:
For what is understood by fame,
Befides the getting of a name?
But, e'er fince men invented guns,
A different way their fancy runs :
To paint a Hero, we inquire
For fomething that will conquer fire.
Would you describe Turenne or Trump?
Think of a bucket or a pump.
Are thefe too low ?-then find out grander,
Call my lord Cutts a Salamander.
'Tis well;-but, fince we live among
Detractors with an evil tongue,
Who may object against the term,
Pliny fhall prove what we affirm:
Pliny fhall prove, and we'll apply,
And I'll be judg'd by ftanders-by.
First, then, our author has defin'd
This reptile of the Serpent kind,
With gaudy coat and shining train;
But loathfome fpots his body ftain :
Out from fome hole obfcure he flies,
When rains defcend, and tempefts rise,
Till the fun clears the air; and then
Crawls back neglected to his den.
So, when the war has rais'd a storm,
I've seen a Snake in human form,
All ftain'd with infamy and vice,
Leap from the dunghill in a trice,
Burnish, and make a gaudy show,
Become a general, peer, and beau,
Till peace has made the fky ferene;
Then shrink into its hole again.
"All this we grant-why then look yonder.
"Sure that must be a Salamander !"
Farther, we are by Pliny told,
This Serpent is extremely cold ;
So cold, that, put it in the fire,
'Twill make the very flames expire ;
Befides, it fpues a filthy froth
(Whether through rage or lust, or both)
Of matter purulent and white,
Which, happening on the skin to light,
And there corrupting to a wound,
Spreads leprofy and baldness round.
So have I feen a batter'd beau,
and claps grown cold as snow,
Whofe breath or touch, where-e'er he came,
Blew out love's torch, or chill'd the flame :
And should some nymph, who ne'er was cruel,
Like Charlton cheap, or fam'd Du-Ruel,
Receive the filth which he ejects,
She foon would find the fame effects
Her tainted carcafe to pursue,
As from the Salamander's fpue;
A difmal fhedding of her locks,
And, if no leprofy, a pox.
"Then I'll appeal to each by-ftander,
"If this be not a Salamander "
Who commanded the BRITISH forces in SPAIN.
MORDANTO fills the trump of fame,
The Christian worlds his deeds proclain,
And prints are crouded with his name.
In journies he outrides the poft,
Sits up till midnight with his hoft,
Talks politics, and gives the toaft.
Knows every prince in Europe's face,
Flies like a fquib from place to place,
And travels not, but runs a race.
From Paris gazette à-la-main,
This day arriv'd, without his train,
Mordanto in a week from Spain.
A meffenger comes all a-reek
Mordanto at Madrid to feek;
He left the town above a week.
Next day the poftboy winds his horn,
And rides through Dover in the morn:
Mordanto's landed from Leghorn.
Mordanto gallops on alone,
The roads are with her followers ftrown,
This breaks a girth, and that a bone;
His body active as his mind,
Returning found in limb and wind,
Except fome leather loft behind.
A skeleton in outward figure,
His meagre corpfe, though full of vigour,
Would halt behind him, were it bigger.
So wonderful his expedition,
When you have not the leaft fufpicion,
He's with you like an apparition.
Shines in all climates like a star;
In fenates bold, and fierce in war;
A land commander, and a tar :
Heroic actions early bred in,
Ne'er to be match'd in modern reading,
But by his name-fake Charles of Sweden.
ON THE UNION.
THE queen has lately lost a part
Of her ENTIRELY-ENGLISH * heart,
For want of which, by way of botch,
She piec'd it up again with SCOTCH.
Bleft revolution! which creates
Divided hearts, united states!
*The motto on queen Anne's coronation medal.
See how the double nation lies;
Like a rich coat with skirts of frize:
As if a man, in making pofies,
Should bundle thistles up with roles.
Who ever yet a union faw
Of kingdoms without faith or law?
Henceforward let no statesman dare
A kingdom to a fhip compare ;
Left he should call our commonweal
A veffel with a double keel:
Which, just like ours, new rigg'd and mann'd,
And got about a league from land,
By change of wind to leeward fide,
The pilot knew not how to guide.
So toffing faction will o'erwhelm
Our crazy double-bottom'd realm.
Or, the RECEIPT to form a BEAUTY *.
HEN Cupid did his grandfire Jove intreat
To form fome Beauty by a new receipt, Jove fent, and found far in a country-fcene Truth, innocence, good-nature, look ferene : From which ingredients first the dextrous boy Pick'd the demure, the awkward, and the coy.
An elegant Latin verfion of this little poem is in the fixth volume of Dryden's Mifcellanies.
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