loud to rattle,

As a fignal below to prepare for a battle.
The failors on deck were for ever a-brawling;
The ladies below in piano were squalling ;
The bulk heads of cabins were constantly
creaking
(fqueaking;
In concert with pigs, who as often were
Such a clatter above from the chick to the
goofe,
(broke loose;
I thought the live-flock on the poop had
Dogs, puppies, and monkies of ev'ry degree
Howl'd peals of loud difcord in harsh sym-
phony;

Whilft near to my cabin a fad noify brute
Moft cruelly tortur'd a poor German flute :
Another, a fprightly amufement to find,
A broken bad fiddle with three ftrings wou'd
grind;

And to add to difcordance, our third mate
Tarpaw!
(bawl.
Some vulgar low tune would be certain to
But to picture the whole I am really unable,
"Twas worfe than the noise at the building
of Babel;

I declare my poor ears were fo fadly distrest, That for many a week I ne'er got any reft, Had Signior Corelli but witnefs'd the fcene, The mufical foul would have died of the fpleen!

Ah! Stanley, protect me! hadft thou been

In fhort, my weak nerves were fo deeply affected, (jected, The tone of my mind was at times fo deThat Doctor Pompofus was forc'd for to heap up (keep up. An opiate each night, my poor fpirits to It was often the cafe on a rough fqually day, (lay; At dinner our fhip on her beam-ends would Then tables and chairs on the floor all would jumble, (tumble. Knives, dishes, and bottles, upon us would As late, when a roll brought us all to the floor, (tlemen fwore, Whilft the Ladies were fcreaming, the GenOur Purfer, as big as a bullock at least, Lay on poor little me, like an over-fed beaft. Not many weeks fince I had only to scoop From my lap the contents of a turcen of foup;

And when with clean cloaths I again had fat down,

A vile leg of mutton fell right on my gown. Sometimes I was foil'd from my head to

my toe

With nafty pork chops, or a greafy piilau. Full many a glass of good wine, I may say, By a violent tofs was thrown down the wrong way;

As for three months at leaft there's no thumping the tub;

So I think it but proper that delicate women Should lay in a plentiful flock of clean linen. Whenever I walk on the deck, I am fure To be fhock'd by fuch language as none can endure;

Such fcolding! fuch roaring! such blafting of eyes!

(rite! You'd think that the crew in rebellion would The Captains, great creatures! fo regally great,

Like Hector, oft fwagger in bluftering state; From ftarboard to larboard at pleasure they ftride, (pride; The cocks of their dunghill in laughable Now up to the Cuddy, then back to the Waist,

They actively ftrut in prodigious great hafte; While Tarpawl, in order to prove he's gen teel,

Of mariner's jargon will ring us a peal. At fight of the Ladies his voice, loud as thunder, (der; Tremendously bellows fome technical blunStays, bowlings, and ratt'lings, with many a curfe,

Which aukwardly jingle when put into verfe, How much it has tortur'd and puzzled my

brain

To jumble together his forecastle strain.'

Scarce the cloth is remov'd but the Gentlemen go

nine

To difcufs a few bottles of Stainforth and Co. And from dinner fometimes to the hour of (away time; They get drunk, and roar catches, to pals And often, in order to fhew their politeness, With vile fhocking fongs will be certain to frighten us;

Such fongs! as to you I can never explain, For the loweft of women would blush at their ftrain.

The rude Bacchanalians 'twould greatly

So of that kind of knowledge I've got a great ftore,

Of which I had scarce any notion before. Another diversion the young men would prize, (rife; Twas in feeing us all from our pigeon-holes With them 'tis a proof of politeness, they think,

The Ladies perfections in bumpers to drink; For often they boaft they have had a full (Prue:

view

Of Prim, and Flirtetta, myself, and Mifs But what man of good-breeding will offer to peep (afleep! At a groupe of fine girls as they lie all Since deeming her charms are from all eyes debarr'd, (guard: The most delicate maid is at times off her And they who prefume this advantage to take, (fake.

All pretenfions to manners muft furely for In our ship 'twas one scene, on my word, I may fay,

Of boring and stopping on both fides all day; If we fill'd up one hole 'twas the fame as before, (bore. With their gimblets another they'd prefently The fhip's carpenter swore he was wore off his legs,

By conftantly running to fill them with pegs; And when to repel them we found 'twas in vain, (again. We politely entreated they'd ne'er peep But the Vandals ftill forc'd us at night to lie down (gown. With a petticoat on, and a morning bedIf we failed to wear thefe, they were fure to look thro',

To fee if our fhapes they uncover'd could view.

Such fuch are the fcenes which arife to torment her (adventure! Who ploughs foaming billows in search of Then had you, dear mother, e'er been in a fhip, (vile trip; You ne'er would have fent me on fuch a And furely, myself, I'd the voyage have declin'd,

If half what I fuffer'd I e'er had opin'd! The following Characters at a Dutch Ball, at the Cape of Good Hope, are nei ther badly conceived nor ill painted.

The Cape of Good Hope is a sweet pretty place, (trace. But our ftay was too fhort all its beauties to Old Mynheer Van-tyvel, a dealer in cheese, A tradefman of merit, ambitious to please, Moft courteously gave, on our landing, a ball, To which he politely invited us all; And really to me, 'twas a ludicrous treat; To fee fuch a ftrange groupe together thus

meet.

Hibs Mag. April, 1786.

I cannot infift that the awkward dull animals, (cannibals ;

In their perfons and cuftoms, are abfolute But I think all who've seen them will readily own, (or ton. They've not the least knowledge of manners. To picture the set, I just briefly will mention (tention.

The names of a few who moft drew my atFirst, as all these are Vans, fo I'll lead up the van (Yankleman: With our hoftess good lady-Youf Vrouw Then booted and fpurr'd, and array'd capà-pee, (Snee; Came a foldier of note, titled Count Snicker With a pipe in his mouth, and a pair of black whiskers,

He gallantly handed the widow Van-Griskers: The widow's allow'd to poffefs great attrac tion, (action. The Baron bright laurels has gather'd in Now ftalk'd like a Cyrus the lean dame VanBlixen, (vixen;

Whom fcandal has chriften'd a paragon'd Then tittup'd along with a light mincing ftep, (demirep; Little Youffer Van-Sploom-a well-known A Jew renegado, from Bergen-op-Zoom, Was beau to thefe Ladies, on ent'ring the room,

Then heavily roll'd, with his wig and his hat, (fat. A fpherical Dutchman, o'erwhelm'd by his To what fhall I like him? fay aught, if I (man! To a mountain, I vow, in the fhape of a Reclin'd on his arm, with an afthma opprefs'd, Hung a globular woman, moft flauntingly drefs'd;

can?

To her figure gigantic say what can compare? Why nought but the Heidelburg ton, I、 declare!

While, fteaming with heat, both appear'd,
I infift,
(a mift I
Half veil'd from my fight, as if plung'd in
With a hump on his fhoulder came Captain
Van-Sprack,
(back;
Like Atlas, fupporting the world on his
Next Madam Van-Towzer came flirting
With a young Cicifbeo quite tawdry and
away
(gay
With whom the but recently fled from the
Hague
(plague.
To cornute an old husband- --a terrible
Then Mynheer Smit-Howzen led Youf
Vrouw Van Slaughter,
With acub of a fon, and a fright of a daughter.
With Mynheer Van-Sprawken came Mie-
Vrow Van-Trump,

An aged old hag, who had on a cork rump.
With Mynheer Van-Dondermans--Youf
Vrouw Van-Spoke

Came daudling in with the Duchess's poke.
Cc

There

laughably ape

English fashions, as yearly they pafs by the Cape;

confift

With the eldeft, her beauty doth chiefly (fift In a vulgar red cheek and a tub-thumping Whilft the youngeft displays a broad naked brown breaft,

With a pair of stout arms fit a mop on to reft;

And yet these two frights are the Belles of the place!

Lord! Dutch Beaux are, at beft, but a Hottentot race!

With libations of gin, and tobacco's vile fumes, (the rooms; They drank and they fmoak'd us away from And if e'er I repair to their balls any more, May I choak and be poison'd a thousand

times o'er !

Like a monkey mischievously biting a stick; A Swifs mouth'd away at a fife of harsh tone, Like a cur that is greedily gnawing a bone. But as Orpheus once found, when he fiddled to brutes,

Their motion to mufic moft awkwardly fuits; So the Vrouws, in a minuet, folemnly prance Like a bear, at a fair, that is tutor❜d to dance:

As a whale in thoal water flaps hard to get out,

Mynheer, in cotillon, thus flounders about. I'm fure you would laugh at their compliments queer, (Mynheer? Of boe vaart ye Me vrouw? or hoe vart ye Mynbeer, ik ben bly uvan avond le vind, O Lord, where a rhyme to this line fhall I find?

So much was I fhock'd by fuch diffonant ftrain,

Hark chaos, faid I, is returning again! Ye powers protect me! avert the harsh found, And fhield my chafte ear from each gut'ral's deep wound!

In vain I attempted to utter a few, I thought, on my word, a lock-jaw would enfue; Perhaps, when the Lombards all Europe laid wafte, (tafte; Then Dutch was a language of prevalent Eut how in an age where we daily refine, It yet boafts existence, I ne'er can divine! O could you furvey all the women a clacking, Tough walnuts you'd think with their teeth they were cracking.

plate;

For many a guttural's thorough bass note, Like the bone of a fish, feems to ftick in

their throat.

O! fancy them, mother, uniting their forces, And stamping their feet like a ftring of dray

horfes;

All fmoaking their pipes, round the circle they take, (fhake! He dances the best who the floor moft can Dear fhade of great Hogarth, arise, and retouch, (Dutch; With thy accurate hand, this affembly of O! Genius lamented! thy pencil alone Can picture the groupe as it ought to be fhewa.

We fhall conclude our extracts with Mifs

Brittle's defcription and delineation of the manners of fociety at Madras.

At Madras we arriv'd in the height of confufion,

A scene all occafion'd by Hyder's intrusion ;
A goth-like invader! who doth us all keep
Penn'd up in a fort, like a fear'd flock of
fheep;

With fo flender a fare, that I feldom do meet
Searce with any thing fresh at a table to eat;
And as it is fix'd we're to fail very foon,
To get out of the way of the change of

monfoon,

A line or two, therefore, I'll haftily fcrawl, As a note, “ we're thus far on our way to Bengal."

From thence, in another light letter, I'll

ftate

Whate'er I moft worthy may deem to relate; For there's an emporium of further delight To challenge my mufe to produce a new flight,

As a fubject extenfive, facetious, and new, Calcutta, I'm told, will prefent to my view. With mirth and good-humour then next will I trace (place;

The customs, the manners, the folks of that But crush'd be my verfe, if I ever should fend

One line that can merit or friendship offend!
One line that by fatire or wit mifapplied,
Can render my feelings or conduct decried!"
A generous bofom will ever difdain
To wound in the dark, or to virtue give pain;
So cruel a triumph let bafenefs purfue,
Who cowardly ftabs whilft fecreted from
view!

Be mine the bright line to keep honour in
Gight,
(write!
Nor blufh, with my name, to avow what I
Tho'in mufical cadence its numbers may flow,
Accurs'd be the ftrain if it brings me a foe!
For O! the ambition which glows in my breaft
Is, by pleafing my reader.-myfelf to bebleft!

We

ever;

Four men on their shoulders along with it run, Whilft one on its fide keeps us free from the fun, Broad-fhoulder'd Paddy, from Dublin, can ne'er (pare; For eafe and for pacing with bearers comFor whilft from his chair oft' you're nearly flung out, (about; With motionless speed here you're jaunted about;

But Paddy, in harness, keeps prancing along, Then opens a road with his poles thro' the

throng,

And always uneafily boofs it as flow

As a ftate-carriage horfe, lefs for use than for fhew.

the way,

In triumph they thus bore us into the Fort, In ftate full as much as if going to Court, With a crowd of firange figures all leading (pay, Who pompously fung out our praises for And pleafantly choak'd us with columns of duft, (muft. As a tax upon greatnefs, which fwallow we Cleopatra herself was not better attended In her elegant barge, when the Nile fhe defcended:

In fhort, to a Lady's they rapidly fped, Who begg'd at her houfe we would each take a bed;

A generous dame! whole benevolent will
I her houfe with good company ever to fill.
We fearce had been feated, ere first we were
told

To prepare to comply with an etiquette old,
To receive the whole town in pur neweft
attire,
(mire;
And fit up in form that they might us ad-
To be ogled by all fuch who chose to profefs
That their joy at our landing they could
not exprefs.

I own I recoil'd at a practice fo vile,
And daily propos'd to poftpone it a while;
But our friend Mrs. Shrivel, with whom we
refide,

Infifted we ne'er could it well fet afide; That years forty-four fhe had always been here,

And never had known it omitted a year.
N O T E.

The epithet ufually applied to pallankeen fervants.

193

We therefore prepar'd with the ton to comply, (a figh, All except Tabby Prudence, who, yielding Declar'd that fuch liberties led to encroach, That therefore no man should her person ap proach.

Mrs. Shrivel obferv'd, "The whole business, I vow, (bow; "Juft confifts in a formal kifs, turtly, and Scarce a word is exchang'd, for fo filent the men,

You'd think them a parcel of theep in a pen. Sometimes (tho' but rarely) they courage will gather, weather l' If pouring with rain, to aver, 'tis bad Or wifely obferve, 'tis a charming fine night!"

If the moon (ftrange to tell!) thould but deign to fhine bright."

An old Indian fometimes will in raptures exclaim, (name? A delectable Tit! Pray, Ma'am, what is her And he makes on her quickly-a potent attack,

By off'ring himfelf-and pagodas two lack, With a right in two years to go home for her health, (wealth; And plan out a fund to fink part of his Or by firft, fecond, third, of fame tenour and date, (eftate: Give him notice the yearly improves his And to make it more binding, he offers to write, (at fight; That as faft as fhe draws-he will honour Then pulls from his pocket a fettlement blank,

To dub her a Lady of fortune and rank; And as Celia's too wife at fuch terms to be nettled, (oft' fettled." Before the next fun their whole courtship's Here Prudence replied, with an old-maidish joke, (poke: Twas a thame thus to purchase-a pig in a On the ev❜ning appointed, three powder'd gay beaux (cloaths;

Buzz'd around us, and greatly admired our Then prettily gave us, for light recreation, Some balderdash, whipt-fillabub conversation. One, a pert jeminy jeffamy tinfel'd young