ii. Now although there is no law at Bow-street for the punishment of those who hold out such false pretences to the great prejudice of the unwary, yet there is a bench of self-elected judges, who have taken on themselves to inquire out and punish all such offenders. Mr. Gifford and Mr. Jefferies form together a sort of Chief Justices, the Magazine Editors, &c. do very well as the twelve judges, and the works under their superintendence are so many poetical Tyburn Chronicles, in which the names of the unhappy culprits are duly registered. It must indeed be owned, that their critical worships sometimes descend from the Aristotelian tribunal, and instead of judging, actually execute, exchanging the high office of Judge, for the ignominious one of Mr. Ketch; but this is no doubt to be attributed to their exceeding love of justice. Having then the fear of these gentlemen before my eyes, I have chosen for this work a very humble title, videlicet, The Actor's Budget; a name that conveys no promise, and therefore can cause no disappointment. If, however, any Reader should look for any thing more than an hour's entertainment, be it at his own peril; I fairly warn him, that all he gains beyond a hearty laugh, he must consider as so much thrown in, over and above his bargain; and yet he may chance to find a few choice morsels, for to speak it fairly, and like a true thief, I have poached upon. many a rich manor, cramming every thing I could lay my hand apart into the Budget; that is, every thing of lightness enough for me to carry away; a diatribe by Porson, or an essay upon the Manmath by Cuvier, would have been game of too large asort for my weak shoulders; puns and tales, "and such small deer," were all I could think of attacking. My sport has been that of a holyday school-boy, who wages war with Tom Tits and Sparrows, and when he has shot an unsuspecting blackbird, congratulates himself, as much as Wellington ever did on gaining the field of Waterloo. And yet, not to speak too modestly, I hope there are scraps in my Budget, some of which will please the lounger, some the actor, and others the student in Elocution. I have collected all manner of subjects, grave and gay, in verse and in prose; but, for the most part, with a view to Recitation: and it must be a fastidious taste, that in this wide variety can find nothing worthy of attention. THE EDITOR. Endex. Page. A Comic-Satiric Address, in the Character of Touchstoner Seven Ages of Woman A Paraphrase on Shakspear's Seven Ages Address on Closing a Theatre A Comic Nautical Address, on Opening a Provincial the atre Prologue on Folly in Vindication of the Stage 18 Jerry Sneak's, Jeu D'Esprit 19 Billy Whipstitch 20 Alonzo the Brave, and the Fair Imogine 23 Giles Jollop the Grave and Brown Sally Green 25 The Idiot 28 Mrs. Jordan's Poetry, and Dirge on the much lamented 353 355 Address Spoken by a distinguished Amateur on the open- Duett Author Unknown .... .... 356 357 Song from the Opera of "Pirates," by "Storace-Song ་་ .... 361 Reply to the above, "J. S. B." from the Calcutta Journal 362 Is there a Heart that Never Loved? "Braham" 363 364 365 366 Farewell Address to the Marquis and Marchioness of Hastings ..378 |